Advocating for Yourself During Challenging Times: Reclaiming Your Power When Confidence Is Low

ByAngelina Nizzardi

Life’s challenges, whether they involve your health, mental health, relationships, or career, can leave you feeling disoriented and vulnerable. When your confidence and self-esteem are low, advocating for yourself may feel nearly impossible. Yet, it’s in these very moments that self-advocacy becomes essential. Speaking up for your needs, setting boundaries, and making empowered decisions can help you regain a sense of agency. Here’s how you can advocate for yourself, even when your inner strength feels shaky.

1. Get Clear on What You Need

When you’re in the middle of a challenge, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what you want or need. Start by asking yourself:

  • What outcome am I hoping for?
  • What support or accommodations would help me feel safer, stronger, or more comfortable?
  • What would be the most compassionate way for me to show up for myself?

Tip: If you feel scattered, write down your thoughts. Seeing them on paper helps clarify your priorities. Whether you’re preparing for a doctor’s visit, a work meeting, or a difficult conversation, knowing what you need makes it easier to express yourself.

2. Practice Assertive Communication

When self-esteem is low, it’s tempting to stay quiet or minimize your needs. However, advocating for yourself doesn’t require aggression—it requires assertiveness, which is about expressing your needs clearly and respectfully.

Try this formula:

  • “I feel…” → Share your emotions honestly.
  • “I need…” → State your request clearly.
  • “I would appreciate…” → Suggest a way forward.

Example in a healthcare setting:
Instead of saying: “I’m probably overreacting, but I feel really off.”
Say: “I’ve been experiencing ongoing fatigue and brain fog, and I’d like a more thorough assessment. I would appreciate a referral to a specialist.”

3. Set (and Hold) Boundaries

When you’re going through a difficult time, protecting your energy is vital. Advocating for yourself means setting and maintaining boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Examples of boundary-setting statements:

  • In relationships: “I need space to process this, and I’ll reach out when I’m ready.”
  • At work: “I can’t take on extra projects right now. I need to prioritize my current workload.”
  • With family: “I know you’re trying to help, but I need fewer opinions right now and more emotional support.”

Tip: Boundaries may be met with resistance. That’s okay. Your job is to hold the line with kindness and firmness.

4. Use the Power of “I Need More Time”

When you feel vulnerable or caught off guard, it’s okay to pause before responding. You don’t have to make decisions or offer answers immediately.

  • If you’re facing a tough work decision: “I need some time to think this over. I’ll get back to you by tomorrow.”
  • During a difficult conversation: “I need a moment to collect my thoughts before we continue.”
  • When discussing your health: “I want to explore all my options before deciding. Can I have more information?”

Taking time gives you the space to gather yourself and respond with more clarity and confidence.

5. Keep a Paper Trail

When advocating for yourself in complex situations (healthcare, workplace disputes, etc.), documenting interactions can help protect your interests. Keep records of emails, dates, and key points from conversations.

  • For health: Write down symptoms, treatments, and dates of appointments.
  • For work: Follow up on verbal conversations with a written summary to confirm key points.
  • For relationships: Journaling can help you track patterns and recognize when boundaries are being crossed.

6. Enlist a Support Person or Advocate

When your confidence is low, bringing in a trusted support person can be empowering. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or even a professional advocate.

  • In health settings: Ask a friend to attend appointments with you and take notes.
  • In work situations: Consider consulting with HR or an employee assistance program (EAP).
  • In relationships: Lean on a therapist or counsellor to help you articulate your needs.

Having someone by your side can boost your confidence and provide emotional backup.

7. Validate Your Own Experience

When you’re struggling with self-doubt, you may be tempted to downplay your needs or question whether you’re overreacting. Remember:

  • Your experience is valid.
  • Your feelings matter.
  • You are allowed to ask for support, even if others don’t understand.

Self-validation mantra:
“My experiences are real. My needs are valid. I am worthy of being heard.”

8. Give Yourself Permission to Take Up Space

Advocating for yourself isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being authentic and compassionate with yourself. You deserve to be seen, heard, and supported. Even if your voice shakes, your boundaries are questioned, or you stumble over your words, your effort is valid.

You are worth standing up for.
Even when you feel small, you are still powerful. Keep speaking up, even softly. With time, your voice will grow stronger.

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